Sunday, July 12, 2009

The battle continues...

I can not believe it has been three weeks since I made my last entry. I have a notebook of topics I have wanted to write about. I feel as though time has been slipping through my fingers. Each week a new battle. I have had more thrown at me in the past few weeks than I ever thought imaginable. The day that I learned my disabilities were permanent, my husband also rec'd bad news. He was abnormally quiet as I shared my prognosis. I just figured he had prepared himself for the worst or that he was just letting me vent my anger and sadness. The next blow came as my knee surgeon refused to treat me when he realized that my injury was a result of the nerve damage. Even though my knee is worse and nothing he has done has helped, his prognosis and advice was "sorry nothing I can do for you, and stay away from doctors"!!! I am so sick of Dr.'s being afraid to treat me out of fear of having to testify in a lawsuit. They have nothing to worry about. I have yet to find a lawyer who will take on my case. They all agree I have a clear cut case of malpractice, but no one, including the AZ Med. Board are able to find a Dr. who will testify against my surgeons. As if this was not maddening enough, a week and a half later he mentioned his company was having a BBQ, so I asked if families were invited. Then he revealed why...... it was a sorry we have to lay you all off party... :(. This is the 2nd job he has lost in the past 3 months due to the economy. He is a truck driver, and the company he has worked for has lost many contracts due to companies losing business. Last time , praise God, he was only unemployed for 2 hours. They found another job for him, unfortunately the pay was much less than what we had been living on. Tomorrow we find out if he has a new job. The pay is still less than what we had been living on a year ago, my medical bills lie in a pile. According to Social Security I do not qualify for Disability because of how long I have been out of the work force.

I am unable to work. I am bedridden most of the time. I tire very easy from the toll that the pain takes on my body. If and it is still an if, he is hired tomorrow, we will be without health insurance for at least three months. That is three more months of agonizing pain in my knee until I can find a new surgeon. That is three months that we can not afford to pay for my meds. According to my pharmacy, Lyrica, which I take for both Fibromyalgia and my nerve damage, will cost me $680 a month. My other meds will bring my total monthly cost to $1000. I am putting this in God's hands and praying for a miracle. Because we are not at what is considered a poverty level income, I do not qualify for any assistance program for Lyrica. I am watching this months prescription bottle dwindle down, fearing what will happen when I run out. With my meds my pain level is a 7-10 daily. The pain is constant, never gets better, only gets worse with activity, like walking, standing and sitting. I can not imagine what the pain will be without my medication.

I am not one to ask for help. It is humbling to be in this position. I do not want anyone to think that I am expecting your help, but I am asking for you to pray for me. Please pray that God provides what I need to get the medication I need to make it through each day. In a earlier post I listed items I need to help with my quality of life. Those are not as important to me today as making sure I can pay for my meds. If you are led to help financially, I have added a PayPal button on the left side of this page. No amount is too small. All is greatly appreciated. In the meantime I will keep you updated on my condition, my husbands job, and it is my goal to educate men and women about their patient rights, and take you step by step as I fight for disability and justice. If I can spare just one person the pain that I live in, all will be worth the pain I will endure by taking the time to post information. I will share my joys and sorrows. I will also whip out my notebook and get my other, some quiet humorous, thoughts posted.

It is my faith in Jesus Christ and my sense of humor that gets me through each day.
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  1. Cynthia, I am so sorry for your pain. I understand what you are going through well.

    When I first found out I had fibro and CFS, I had just had a baby and was bed-ridden, a stack of thousands of dollars worth of doctor bills sitting there from a liver problem and baby bills. Then, my husband lost his job and was out of work a year, working out-of-state the next. Health issues have continued the past ten years, but so has the Lord's faithfulness. So it is no light thing when I tell you I am praying for you with love and understanding.

    Dear Lord, please be with my friend Cynthia and comfort her with your love and care. Bring your provisions to surround her, and your people. Help her to be able to minister to others from her pain, and to realize how powerful her testimony is for your kingdom. Give her courage! Help her to see abundance that only you could give. Please provide work for her husband swiftly, and keep pouring your deep joy into their precious home. We love you and we love each other, Amen.

  2. Dear Pomegranates,
    I can not thank you enough. I am humbled by your prayer and thoughts. God bless you and your familly.
    Mrs. C